I have taking a liking to a man that is older than I am. He is 29 and I am 20. I have known him for about a year, because he takes hockey lessons from our rink. He is from Russia, but has lived in the US for about ten years. I teach skating and have taught him when he first started. A coworker told him that I am "fond" of him, and he has asked me to watch several hockey games with him. We see each other once a week on Friday nights. I am trying to figure out how to start a relationship with him. We have a lot in common ( went to the same college, his family lives where I live, we like science..and food haha). He talked about a nice Russian restaurant that he enjoyed, and I suggested that we go there some time. We also communicate over email, and he has called me, but I somehow always miss his call. Haha. Whenever I am around him, he is very affectionate and hugs me. I was wondering, how do men feel about dating younger women? Is nine years really too much? I know it depends on where a person is and how mature they are..but I just want to have fun with him at this point. For all I know he could be looking for someone to marry. Thanks for comments!

I enjoy writing about things which do not apply to me. This blog happens to be about a close friend from my hometown. I have never met anyone remotely close to his personality. He is a smart man, but a college drop out. He joined the navy about a year ago, and is now leaving for deployment for eight months. I will miss him truly, but for one of our mutual friends..sigh. She is the one I am worried about.

Ally met Jared in 8th grade. She approached him, and they became friends quickly. It turns out that she was going to go to the same high school as he. Jared is three years older, so at the time she was a freshman, and he a junior. She saw him often before entering her freshman year, and told me that he was a nice to her. He had interesting things to talk about, and seemed to enjoy her company. When Ally went to high school, she soon realized that he was viewed negatively among her peers. I was one of the few who liked Jared, and Ally and I became friends soon after. Jared was not the typical student. He enjoyed telling people off, smoked weed, popped pills, had sex with many girls, and didn't give a rat's tush about his grades. Almost all of our high school thought of him as a horny bastard. Which in my opinion he was, but he never treated Ally with disrespect. Ally wanted nothing more of him at the time, than just to be friends...but with all of the peer pressure steering her away from him, she soon learned to avoid him. He asked her to prom, and she politely declined. He walked her home, and would always say hi to her in the hallways, but she soon didn't even make eye contact.

After he graduated, Ally and I would talk about him occasionally, but it was more of wondering what he was doing with his life. He liked money, and I knew that he hated school, but I found out he was trying out college. Ally told me that he dropped out, and was now back in our hometown. She saw him working at a local grocery store. He approached her, and asked for her number. After about two years of not talking to him, she grew up a little, and realized that he was a good friend to her, despite his "habits."

Ally was invited by Jared to go to the city around Halloween, but something happened that would almost define her relationship with Jared. Jared had a girlfriend, and when she found out that he was going to hang out with Ally, she flipped! Jared had to cancel, but soon after they met up. They had a fun "date" and to Ally's knowledge Jared was single. He tried to kiss her in her car, but since Ally hadn't kissed any boy at this time ( freshman in college ..whoa!) she didn't want to kiss him. She told me later that he kept trying to kiss her and wouldn't leave her alone, but she declined and politely kissed him on his cheek to say goodnight.

Long story short. She eventually fooled around with him, and lost her virginity to Jared. I was shocked at this detail. She let herself go to soon. Jared was still seeing that girl from around Halloween, and he made love to Ally! When I asked Ally how she felt about this, she said she didn't feel attached to Jared, but rather a connection between friends...friendly connection. This is somewhat confusing to me. I personally don't understand why she did this, but it isn't my choice. She continued to see him once in awhile when he would have leave from the navy. Ever time he came home, even though he was still dating that other girl, he would call Ally and sleep with her. She told me that he just wanted to hang out, but they would lose themselves, and get sexual. This continued for a year. He was her friend, and she enjoyed being around him, but never felt love for him,  or like in a boyfriend manner. To this day they still are sexually active. But something strange caught my attention. Ally told me that she never had a orgasm with Jared, and he told her that she should have her first orgasm with someone she loved, because it would feel so much better. He was sincere to her, and wanted the best for her. He told her that he was not using her, but really liked her and cared for her. Haha..about a couple of weeks ago he told her that he was going to propose to that other girl! Yet he still remains friends with Ally, and sleeps with her. How can someone love someone else and sleep with another? Jared told Ally that he thought about Ally often, and liked her, and even wanted to be her boyfriend sometimes, but was in love with another woman. Ally took this rather gracefully. She never was attached to him, but loved him as a FRIEND. She kissed him goodbye, and wished him luck on his engagement. I wonder what will happen if the other woman says no?

To this is my question. Is it okay to sleep around with your friends? There is obviously a greater bond of friendship between my friends: Ally and Jared, but is it worth the risk of getting hurt even if your heart is made of iron?