icespiral's Datingish

Trial and Error..AHH!

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 00:07:08 GMT

I have really liked this guy for about three months, but I haven't seen him since our first two dates back in December. He continues to keep in contact, and I have blogged about him before.. ( see other posts), but long story short I think he is trying to hold on to me for no reason. Today he calls out of the blue and asked how I was doing. He was driving, and he was heading back from vacation to his house. My apartment is own the way, and I asked him if he wanted to stop by. He sounded really flirty and said sure! I got really excited, and even told him that it was ridiculous that I haven't seen him in so long. He said, I know! He also sounded really happy, but then about ten minutes into the conversation he changed his mind, saying that he had to get his car's tire taken care of. I wasn't devastated, but seriously! Every time I get him out of my head, he calls! I wrote him an email last week asking him what he wanted, but he never answered. Even when I talked to him on the phone today, we didn't talk about it. It was partly my doing, because I didn't bring it up, but why does he keep calling me if he knows I want to be his girlfriend (I told him this before), and he may just want to be friends? He hasn't told me what he wants, and it is annoying. What would you do in this situation?

Aging dilemma

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 03:21:41 GMT

I have taking a liking to a man that is older than I am. He is 29 and I am 20. I have known him for about a year, because he takes hockey lessons from our rink. He is from Russia, but has lived in the US for about ten years. I teach skating and have taught him when he first started. A coworker told him that I am "fond" of him, and he has asked me to watch several hockey games with him. We see each other once a week on Friday nights. I am trying to figure out how to start a relationship with him. We have a lot in common ( went to the same college, his family lives where I live, we like science..and food haha). He talked about a nice Russian restaurant that he enjoyed, and I suggested that we go there some time. We also communicate over email, and he has called me, but I somehow always miss his call. Haha. Whenever I am around him, he is very affectionate and hugs me. I was wondering, how do men feel about dating younger women? Is nine years really too much? I know it depends on where a person is and how mature they are..but I just want to have fun with him at this point. For all I know he could be looking for someone to marry. Thanks for comments!

Help!

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:22:57 GMT

I met this guy in December through a friend and we went on two dates. I still talk to him every week on the phone, but I have not seen him in two months. I have told him that I like him a lot, and he has told me in return that it is good that I like him. Haha! He says that he enjoys my company and he wants to keep in touch with me, but is too busy to hang out due to work. He only lives an hour away, and when I called him last weekend he said that he was in Myrtle Beach--about a 6 hour drive from where he lives. He was having a good time, playing poker and eating pizza. I only talked to him for about a minute and he said he had to go. He called me yesterday to apologize for cutting me off on the phone, and wants to chat again this week. My question is, if he has time to see his friends/family, why can't he make time to see me? I thought we had a good time together, and as far as I am concerned he wants a relationship with someone. How should I approach him and get him to tell me what he wants? I still really like this guy, but it has been a pain trying to figure him out.

A slightly different approach.

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 02:24:15 GMT

I enjoy writing about things which do not apply to me. This blog happens to be about a close friend from my hometown. I have never met anyone remotely close to his personality. He is a smart man, but a college drop out. He joined the navy about a year ago, and is now leaving for deployment for eight months. I will miss him truly, but for one of our mutual friends..sigh. She is the one I am worried about.

Ally met Jared in 8th grade. She approached him, and they became friends quickly. It turns out that she was going to go to the same high school as he. Jared is three years older, so at the time she was a freshman, and he a junior. She saw him often before entering her freshman year, and told me that he was a nice to her. He had interesting things to talk about, and seemed to enjoy her company. When Ally went to high school, she soon realized that he was viewed negatively among her peers. I was one of the few who liked Jared, and Ally and I became friends soon after. Jared was not the typical student. He enjoyed telling people off, smoked weed, popped pills, had sex with many girls, and didn't give a rat's tush about his grades. Almost all of our high school thought of him as a horny bastard. Which in my opinion he was, but he never treated Ally with disrespect. Ally wanted nothing more of him at the time, than just to be friends...but with all of the peer pressure steering her away from him, she soon learned to avoid him. He asked her to prom, and she politely declined. He walked her home, and would always say hi to her in the hallways, but she soon didn't even make eye contact.

After he graduated, Ally and I would talk about him occasionally, but it was more of wondering what he was doing with his life. He liked money, and I knew that he hated school, but I found out he was trying out college. Ally told me that he dropped out, and was now back in our hometown. She saw him working at a local grocery store. He approached her, and asked for her number. After about two years of not talking to him, she grew up a little, and realized that he was a good friend to her, despite his "habits."

Ally was invited by Jared to go to the city around Halloween, but something happened that would almost define her relationship with Jared. Jared had a girlfriend, and when she found out that he was going to hang out with Ally, she flipped! Jared had to cancel, but soon after they met up. They had a fun "date" and to Ally's knowledge Jared was single. He tried to kiss her in her car, but since Ally hadn't kissed any boy at this time ( freshman in college ..whoa!) she didn't want to kiss him. She told me later that he kept trying to kiss her and wouldn't leave her alone, but she declined and politely kissed him on his cheek to say goodnight.

Long story short. She eventually fooled around with him, and lost her virginity to Jared. I was shocked at this detail. She let herself go to soon. Jared was still seeing that girl from around Halloween, and he made love to Ally! When I asked Ally how she felt about this, she said she didn't feel attached to Jared, but rather a connection between friends...friendly connection. This is somewhat confusing to me. I personally don't understand why she did this, but it isn't my choice. She continued to see him once in awhile when he would have leave from the navy. Ever time he came home, even though he was still dating that other girl, he would call Ally and sleep with her. She told me that he just wanted to hang out, but they would lose themselves, and get sexual. This continued for a year. He was her friend, and she enjoyed being around him, but never felt love for him, or like in a boyfriend manner. To this day they still are sexually active. But something strange caught my attention. Ally told me that she never had a orgasm with Jared, and he told her that she should have her first orgasm with someone she loved, because it would feel so much better. He was sincere to her, and wanted the best for her. He told her that he was not using her, but really liked her and cared for her. Haha..about a couple of weeks ago he told her that he was going to propose to that other girl! Yet he still remains friends with Ally, and sleeps with her. How can someone love someone else and sleep with another? Jared told Ally that he thought about Ally often, and liked her, and even wanted to be her boyfriend sometimes, but was in love with another woman. Ally took this rather gracefully. She never was attached to him, but loved him as a FRIEND. She kissed him goodbye, and wished him luck on his engagement. I wonder what will happen if the other woman says no?

To this is my question. Is it okay to sleep around with your friends? There is obviously a greater bond of friendship between my friends: Ally and Jared, but is it worth the risk of getting hurt even if your heart is made of iron?

The slutty roommate!

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:38:49 GMT

This does not apply to me whatsoever, but I am just curious. What if you had a roommate that was very comfortable in dressing well rather...slutty? Maybe she would wear tank tops and very short shorts around your apartment, or how about see-through mesh camisoles and boy-cut underwear? How would you feel if you brought company over, lets say a SO? Would it make you feel embarrassed, jealous, and uncomfortable? Maybe telling your roommate that this was inappropriate only made her feel more inclined to dress this way.. Just a thought, but I am sure some of you have been through this?

What does he want?

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:52:57 GMT

Okay so I have finally stepped foot into the dating scene. I have never been in a long term relationship that was worth the trouble, but have always wanted to be. About a month ago a friend of my best friend, whom I have never met before contacts me and asks me to meet him for a play date. At first, I ponder about what this guy wants. I ask him a couple of times-- why he wants to meet me so badly? He says he justs wants to meet me; maybe because we both play golf, and that my best friend told him that I am awesome? Who knows. He asked her if I had a boyfriend, and what type of things I like to do. Personally, I found this quite strange. I was a complete stranger to him, and he wants to know if I am available? After about two weeks of him still bugging me during college finals, I give in. I say to myself, this is something that you would never do, so just do it. I drive an hour to meet him at some random parking lot, to find him in a mustang with his five-year old nephew. We went to the city for the day, and completely hit it off. We went to a musical, ate dinner, saw a light show, and walked around.. It was one of the best times of my life. When we got back to the parking lot later that night, he casually asks me to come back to his place. I hesitate, and thinking this over now, I should have said no. I however accept and follow him back to his apartment. Long story short we watch three movies in a row, and I slept over. I leave the next morning.

About a week later, I see him on Christmas night. I sleep over again, but this time we did more than just sleeping to say the least. It was too soon, and what maybe he wanted, I now did. Currently I am still trying to see him, while he nonchalantly declines. He says to me that he is very busy with work. I am not sure if this is really the case or not, but even if it is, would seeing me again really be that difficult? Even if it were for only an hour, I would be happier. I haven't seen him in almost a month. He calls, but rarely on his own. Most of the time it is to return my messages of hope of seeing him. I am not sure what he wants, but I have told him that I really like him. He replies, " that is good." I tell him that I miss him, and he says, " you miss me? aw." What kind of replies are these? I think I rushed it, but must human feelings always be boxed or but into groups? Why must one be labled the chaser or the chasee? I could be pushing this, but I know what I want. I want a boyfriend! Sigh, but everytime I think he really doesn't care, he speaks. Love can be cruel to the sensitive kind. Any comments will be appreciated.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:06:04 GMT

Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Datingish... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"